笑话一般比较短小，喜剧性很强，普遍存在于人们的日常生活中。笑话的娱乐作用可以减轻人的心理压力，促进身体健康。下面是小编辛苦为大家带来的超爆笑的英语笑话（优秀7篇），希望能够给予您一些参考与帮助。
A school report
学校成绩单
The father was reading the school report which had just been handed to him by his hopeful son. His brow was wrathful（愤怒的） as he read,
父亲在看他那满怀希望的儿子带回来的学校成绩单。他边看边露出愤怒的表情：
"English, poor. French, weak. mathematics, fair." and he gave a glance of disgust at the quaking lad（少年，小伙子）。
“英语，差；法语，差；数学，中。”他厌恶地瞥了在发抖的儿子一眼。
"Well, Dad." said the son, "It is not as good as it might be, but have you seen that?" And he pointed to the next line which read, "health, excellent."
“爸爸，”儿子说，“可能成绩不够理想。但您看到那一项了吗？”他指了指下一行：“健康状况，优。”
When we decided to sell our house, we nailed "FOR SALE BY OWNER" signs on two trees in our front yard. Before long，the doorbell rang.”How much are you asking for the treesp"a young man asked.
我们决定卖掉我们的房子。于是，我们就在院前的大树上钉了两块牌子，上面写着：“拍卖。”没过多久，我们的门铃就响了。一位年轻人问：“你们的树想卖多少钱？”
two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。
"look," said the elder brother. "how nice these paintings are!"
“看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀！”
"yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. where is the father?"
“是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。那爸爸去哪儿了呢？”
the elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "obviously he was painting the pictures."
哥哥想了一会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。”
Some friends and I stopped at an ice-cream parlor.where I asked for my favorite，a hot-fudge sundae with chocolate ice cream. But when the waitress brought our orders，I saw that mine had vanilla ice cream. " I ordered chocolate,"I pointed out.
我和一位朋友来到一家冰淇琳店。我要了一个我最喜欢吃的巧克力奶油圣代。当女招待送来我的冰淇淋时，我发现我的冰淇沐是香草的。我说：“我要的是巧克力的。”
The young woman consulted her order pad and responded，"So you did. I'll take it back and get chocolate."
那位年轻的女士查了一下订单回答说：“你确实要的是巧克力的。我把它拿回去，再给你拿一个巧克力的。”
“Never mind，”I said.”I don't like to see anything wasted."
“没关系，”我说：“我不想浪费东西。”
"Nothing is wasted around here!"she insisted.“We eat our mistakes. "
“这儿什么也浪费不了，”女招待坚持说：“我们吃掉自己的错误。”
Reasons
理由
One early morning a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up.
一天清晨，妈妈去叫还在睡觉的儿子起床。
Wake up, son.
起来，儿子。
It's time to go to school.
去学校的时间到了。
But why? I don't want to go to school.
但是为什么？我不想去学校。
Give me two reasons why you don't want to go to school.
给我两个理由，你为什么不想去学校。
One, all the children hate me.
第一，所有的孩子都恨我。
Two, all the teachers hate me.
第二，所有的老师都恨我。
Oh! That's not a reason.
()哦！这不是理由。
Come on, you have to go to school.
来吧，你必须去学校。
Give me two good reasons why I should go to school?
那给我两个为什么我要去学校的理由？
One, you are fiftyt-two years old and should understand your responsibilities.
第一，你都52岁了，应该明白自己的责任。
Two you are the principal of the school.
第二，你是学校的校长。
To Buy a Video 买录像机
Amos asked his mother whether they could have a video.
I’m afraid we can’t afford one, sighed his mother.
But on the following day in came Amos, staggering beneath the weight of a brand-new video.
How on earth did you pay for that? gasped his mother.
Easy, Mum. replied Amos, I sold the television!
艾莫斯问妈妈他们是否能买一台录像机。
恐怕我们还买不起，妈妈叹息着说。
可第二天当艾莫斯回来时，他摇摇晃晃地搬着一台全新的录像机。
你究竟是哪儿来的钱买这东西？妈妈大吃一惊，喘着气说。
妈妈，这简单， 艾曼斯回答。我把电视机给卖了！
Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.
The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"
The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"
The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".