笑一笑，十年少。愁一愁，白了头。为了让大家也能笑一笑，下面是小编精心为大家整理的英语幽默笑话【优秀10篇】，在大家参照的同时，也可以分享一下给您最好的朋友。
It's not my fault
Mother (reprimanding训斥，谴责 her small daughter): You mustn't pull the cat's tail.
Daughter: I'm only holding it, Mom. The cat's doing the pulling.
不是我的错
妈妈（正教训她的女儿）：你不该拽猫的尾巴。
女儿：妈，我只是握着猫尾巴，它自己在拽。
一、
The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.
"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"
"Ah, yes," answered the little girl. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"
一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人。’”
“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”
二、
One student to another: "How are your English lessons coming along?"
"Fine. I used to be one who couldn't understand the English men, and now it's the English men who can't understand me."
一位学生对另一位说：“你的英语最近学的怎么样？”
“很好，我过去不懂英国人说话，可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。”
三、
An old lady who was very deaf and who thought everything too dear, went into a shop and asked the shopman:' How much this stuff?'
'Seven dollars, Madam, it is very cheap.'
The lady said, 'It is too much, give it to me for fourteen.'
'I did not say seventeen dollars, but seven.'
'It is still too much,' replie()d the old lady, 'give it to me for five.'
一位耳聋并且总是嫌东西太贵的老太太走进一家商店。 她问店员：“这东西要多少钱？”
“七美元，太太，这是很便宜的。”
老太太说：“太贵了，十四美元差不多。”
店员忙说：“我没说十七美元，是七美元。”
“还是太贵，”老太太说：“五美元，我就买啦。”
A man walked into a crowded restaurant and caught the eye of a harried waiter. “ You know,” he said, “ it’s been ten years since I came in here.”
“ Don’t blame me.” The waiter snapped, “ I’m working as fast as I can.”
A man sat at a bar, had the saddest hangdog expression.
Bartender: "What's the matter? Are you having troubles with your wife?"
The man: "We had a fight, and she told me that she wasn't going to speak to me for a month."
Bartender: "That should make you happy."
The man: "No, the month is up today!"
一个男人坐在酒吧里，伤心至极。
酒吧招待：“你怎么了？跟老婆闹矛盾了？”
男人：“我们吵了一架，她说一个月都不跟我说话。”
酒吧招待：“那你应该高兴才是啊！”
男人：“不，今天是这个月的最后一天。”
A: What are the strongest day of the week?
B: Saturday and Sunday. Because all the others are weak (week) days.
Mrs. Smith was preparing dinner when little Brad came into the kitchen. “ What has mama’s darling been doing all day?”
“ I’ve been playing mailman, “ replied Brad.
“Mailman?” asked the mother. “How could you do that when you had no letters?”
“ I had a whole bunch of letters, “ said Brad. “ I found them in that old trunk up in the attic, all tied up with ribbon. I put one in every mailbox on the street.”
A: Why do people call their own language their mother tongue?
B: Because their fathers seldom get a chance to use it.
Professor Tom was going to meet his students on the next day,
so he wrote some words on the blackboard which read as follows: Professor Tom will meet the class tomorrow.
A student, seeing his chance to display his sense of humor after reading the notice, walked up and erased the c in the word class. The Professor noticing the laughter, wheeled around, walked back, looked at the student, then at the notice with the c erased--calmly walked up and erased the l in lass, looked at the flabbergasted student and proceeded on his way.
班级、情人和蠢驴
汤姆教授打算第二天与他的学生见面，因此他在黑板上写道：汤姆教授明天将和大家见面。
一位学生看到这条通知后，觉得展示自己幽默感的机会来了，就走上前，将class中的c擦掉，将意思变为汤姆教授明天将和情妇见面。教授听到笑声，转过身走回来，看了看那位学生，又看看被改动过的通知，不动声色地走上前，把lass中的l擦掉，将意思改为汤姆教授明天将和蠢驴见面。看了看那位目瞪口呆的学生，教授扬长而去。
A: Oh, dear, what’s wrong with your fingers?
B: I want to count how many teeth the dog has, so I put my hand into the mouth of the dog.
A: The dog has bitten you, hasn’t it?
B: Yes. Maybe the dog wants to count how many fingers I have, and I have no choice.
A: You have been to London, haven’t you?
B: Yes. It’s very interesting.
A: What do you think is the most interesting thing?
B: The children in London are very clever. They can speak English at 2 or 3.